First Love— Remembering what was, not what could have been.

She had loved him the moment she met him. He would always be the one that got away. 9 years had passed since she had seen him. 9 years since he broke her heart. Yet it felt like yesterday. He had been the first boy to know her intimately, on the bleachers of the local … More First Love— Remembering what was, not what could have been.

Now We Live

Dark memories, dripping through the cracks. Walls built up, starting to crumble. She was waking up. That look in other’s eyes when they asked her tale, the pity. She was once told she was “a brave soldier.” She hated that. She hated being told that. She wasn’t brave. She was like countless others who had … More Now We Live

Marshmallow Brain

Thoughts move slowly, pushing through the thick fog. Getting lost. What was she thinking? What was she doing? What happened to the last hour? Her brain was stuffed. Full of sticky thoughts. Staring at walls, not knowing what to do. She wanted to do something, and nothing. It was too hard to think. Every thought … More Marshmallow Brain

Breathe—The cold hands of anxiety

Life can be overwhelming. The world is in chaos. Anxiety sets in, wrapping it’s fingers around her chest. Squeezing, suffocating. All-consuming, no way out. Cold laughter, it’s winning. Breath comes shorter, harder, shallower, more and more difficult. Vision fogs, brain stops functioning. Surely this is death. Must escape. This is not death. This is yet … More Breathe—The cold hands of anxiety

Embracing negative emotions—welcoming and accepting bad moods instead of fighting them.

This morning I woke up grumpy, for no apparent reason. This happens more regularly than I would like. I woke up and immediately everything bothered me—it’s too hot, my head hurts, my dog won’t stop standing where I’m trying to walk, the kitchen is dirty, the roll of toilet paper in the bathroom is getting … More Embracing negative emotions—welcoming and accepting bad moods instead of fighting them.

She was a force of nature— Reflecting on one year of sobriety and finding herself again

One year. One year of choices made. One year of growing up, of radical change, of heartbreak, of joy, of newfound friendship, new family, new everything. They said no major changes in the first year, but she changed it all. She became The Girl again. She found her voice. She found her freedom. It had … More She was a force of nature— Reflecting on one year of sobriety and finding herself again

And she flourished, a response to 2012— The darkness within a 19 year-old girl’s mind. Written 8 years later.

The demons began to retreat. She had found a new, stronger voice. The voice of self-acceptance and understanding. She was not cursed, nor possessed, but deeply hurt—hurt by a wound she had never known how to heal. For years the demons whispered, then screamed that she wasn’t good enough—never would be. She believed them, for … More And she flourished, a response to 2012— The darkness within a 19 year-old girl’s mind. Written 8 years later.

Story of The Girl

*Trigger Warning She was a girl born into a family of chaos. From the start, her existence was one of chance. Her mother became pregnant with her while on birth control, but a round of antibiotics made her existence possible. She was born the day before her brother’s 4th birthday, which sparked a jealousy that … More Story of The Girl