She had loved him the moment she met him. He would always be the one that got away. 9 years had passed since she had seen him. 9 years since he broke her heart. Yet it felt like yesterday. He had been the first boy to know her intimately, on the bleachers of the local … More First Love— Remembering what was, not what could have been.
Dark memories, dripping through the cracks. Walls built up, starting to crumble. She was waking up. That look in other’s eyes when they asked her tale, the pity. She was once told she was “a brave soldier.” She hated that. She hated being told that. She wasn’t brave. She was like countless others who had … More Now We Live
Thoughts move slowly, pushing through the thick fog. Getting lost. What was she thinking? What was she doing? What happened to the last hour? Her brain was stuffed. Full of sticky thoughts. Staring at walls, not knowing what to do. She wanted to do something, and nothing. It was too hard to think. Every thought … More Marshmallow Brain
Life can be overwhelming. The world is in chaos. Anxiety sets in, wrapping it’s fingers around her chest. Squeezing, suffocating. All-consuming, no way out. Cold laughter, it’s winning. Breath comes shorter, harder, shallower, more and more difficult. Vision fogs, brain stops functioning. Surely this is death. Must escape. This is not death. This is yet … More Breathe—The cold hands of anxiety
*Trigger Warning. Contains stories of sexual, physical, and mental abuse. She was 16. Her eating disorder had gotten worse in the past year, bad enough that she felt the need to reach out for help. It was the Cinco de Mayo celebration at her school. She had binged on delicious food, then promptly went to … More When her world fell apart, he was there.
She felt a change coming. The world around felt off balance. Something big was coming. The energy in her wasn’t flowing, dammed up pools of swirling energy waiting to be set free. Now was a time of rest, she’d need her strength for what was to come next. She wouldn’t pretend to know what that … More When the dams break
This morning I woke up grumpy, for no apparent reason. This happens more regularly than I would like. I woke up and immediately everything bothered me—it’s too hot, my head hurts, my dog won’t stop standing where I’m trying to walk, the kitchen is dirty, the roll of toilet paper in the bathroom is getting … More Embracing negative emotions—welcoming and accepting bad moods instead of fighting them.
One year. One year of choices made. One year of growing up, of radical change, of heartbreak, of joy, of newfound friendship, new family, new everything. They said no major changes in the first year, but she changed it all. She became The Girl again. She found her voice. She found her freedom. It had … More She was a force of nature— Reflecting on one year of sobriety and finding herself again
The demons began to retreat. She had found a new, stronger voice. The voice of self-acceptance and understanding. She was not cursed, nor possessed, but deeply hurt—hurt by a wound she had never known how to heal. For years the demons whispered, then screamed that she wasn’t good enough—never would be. She believed them, for … More And she flourished, a response to 2012— The darkness within a 19 year-old girl’s mind. Written 8 years later.
*Trigger Warning She was a girl born into a family of chaos. From the start, her existence was one of chance. Her mother became pregnant with her while on birth control, but a round of antibiotics made her existence possible. She was born the day before her brother’s 4th birthday, which sparked a jealousy that … More Story of The Girl